Social distancing is an oxymoron.
At the start of a virtual workshop I facilitated recently, I asked each of the nine participants what’s one thing you are missing out on because of social distancing. Each person’s answers related in some way to being apart from others inside or outside the workplace.
We humans were created to be social creatures. We all have natural instincts that drive us to cooperate, share and work together – in good times and especially in difficult times.
We humans also have an innate need to belong. We have an emotional dependency on each other that can be seen in how we naturally find ways to connect: lunch rooms of people eating together; work meetings and after-work meet-ups; music and sports events.
Feelings of belonging make us more productive, motivated and engaged. According to one survey, when people feel like they belong at work, they are more productive, motivated, engaged and 3.5 times more likely to contribute to their fullest potential.[1]
Social connection matters to our mental health as social isolation contributes to feelings of chronic insecurity, anti-social behavior and depression. It’s also critical to our physical health. Loneliness has a wide range of negative effects such as cardiovascular disease and stroke, increased stress level and decreased memory and learning[2].
For the common good from a medical health perspective, physical distancing is necessary. However, we must find ways to do that without “social distancing” which is so harmful to our individual and collective psyches. And for leaders of organizations who have large portions of their team working at home, it is even more imperative that they be intentional about alleviating social distancing’s harmful effects on human nature.
Here are four things leaders can do to feed our human need to be social.
Stay Connected. Find ways to periodically check in with all followers whether they are on location or especially those working remotely. These check-ins might happen when touching base about work but the point of the check-in is to show that you value, understand, and care about them. And questions as simple (and sincere) as “How are you doing? How can I help?” can go a long way in fighting off feelings of isolation.
Be Compassionate. Isolation triggers emotional responses. As awkward and uncomfortable as it can be sometimes, you must let people feel whatever they’re feeling. Caring for others often means recognizing that people may need to vent before they can move on to problem solving and that they feel most cared for when somebody extends them sympathy rather than a solution. Knowing that someone cares is what helps maintain feelings of belonging so crucial to human nature.
Be Pragmatic. Max DePree says the first job of a leader is to tell the truth[3]. Whether for the morale of their followers or their own perceived status, leaders must resist the temptation to only giving good news or unsubstantiated hope. To do either is ruinous empathy or manipulative insincerity[4]. During times of crisis and uncertainty, people need to be told what the facts are on the ground. A masterful and timely example of this are New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s daily briefings which are garnering so much praise.
Be Playful. Research overwhelmingly shows that negative emotions make people less productive while positive emotions lead to people feeling more engaged, productive and creative. This Forbes article has some easy suggestions. I’m also hearing about virtual Happy Hours and people sharing funny videos from home or pictures of great meals somebody prepared. Things that inspire a sense of camaraderie can bring a powerful positive energy to fight the negativity that comes with social isolation.
Again, social distancing is an oxymoron. In our physical distancing, more than ever the humans working in our organizations need to feel a sense of connection and belonging. And more than ever, leaders need to lead through empathy and being intentional about how to support their followers human need to be social.
P.S. By the way, these are good
ideas in the good times, too.
[1] https://hbr.org/2019/02/the-surprising-power-of-simply-asking-coworkers-how-theyre-doing
[2] https://www.verywellmind.com/loneliness-causes-effects-and-treatments-2795749
[3] Leadership Is An Art https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Art-Max-Depree/dp/0385512465/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
[4] Kim Scott, Radical Candor — The Surprising Secret to Being a Good Boss
